eight's posterous

Eat 8 Celeri Stalks a Week

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You might think this is a fib,  but celeri (or celery for our friends in the U.S.) is actually a negative calorie count. How can that possibly be? Well, it goes something like this... It's got something to do with the way it's made, probably with all those stringy things that hold it together (and are a large part of the reason why I actually hate celeri -- those stringy things always get caught up in my teeth!) anyway, they make the vegetable very hard for humans to digest. So hard in fact, that it takes more energy from our bodies to process the celeri than the goodness that we finally manage to extract from it.

Why wouldn't those looking to lose weight not simply eat celeri all day long? I don't know. But I can hazard a guess that they'd grow pretty tired of it fairly quickly. Even rhinos, who don't strike me as particularly finicky eaters, don't like celeri. Well, I shouldn't generalise but I did witness one perfectly live rhino reject several lush celeri stalks, going so far as to take a few chomps of one then ungloriously spitting it back out toward the well-intentioned human.

So what should we do? Everything in moderation. This is the crux of this blog. Eight's a nice round number that keeps you coming back. A healthy number for a healthy cycle. So make sure you eat 8 celeri stalks per week. That's once per day and twice on Sunday! Those little negative bursts will keep those not-so-healthy things (that we should also do in moderation) in check.

Plus it's made up mostly of water... nothing wrong with that!

Have 8 great people in your life.

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Always have 8 people in your life that you can call "close" (friends or family, doesn't matter). If you don't have anyone, then my challenging you to find 8 people should be a relief cause, really, when people say "You should go out and meet people... make some friends." they don't specify a number, do they?

Having 8 great people in your life gives you pretty good odds one of them will be by the phone when you need them.

If you have "way more" than 8, ask yourself, how many of those are truly close. If your answer is higher than 8, you are rich beyond your dreams. I hope you know that.

Always eat breakfast before 8 AM and eat dinner before 8 PM.

Again here this is entirely governed by the career you have. If you work the night shift, well, I guess you should switch the AM with the PM.

The point of this is to spread out your meals. Our bodies don't work like cars. You can't fill up once and not eat for a week. We're more like those solar powered calculators. The second the power source is gone, it starts to fade... quickly.

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Exercise 8 times per week.


Exercise
Wow... now that's a tough one. Most of us don't even exercise once a week... So how the heck will we manage this? Simple! Got kids? Have you rolled around wrestling or in a tickle fight recently? That counts! Walked the dog lately? That counts. We're not out to look like Arnold (or Demi Moore for the ladies), we're just finding an easy way to live a healthier lifestyle.

Start with 8 minutes a day, twice on Sunday.

Work your way up from there. So long as you never drop back down below 8 times 8, you'll be better off than sitting on your couch.

Drink 8 glasses of water or pure juices or 1% milk per day.


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Eight glasses of water is just boring but if you combine juice and milk in that number, you can mix it up and get a lot of healthy liquids into you and, believe it or not, you'll actually need those unhealthy drinks a heck of a lot less.

Speaking of drinking, here's a zinger... drink 8 glasses of red wine per week. One per day and two (yippee!) on Sunday! My favourites are the Merlots and Cabernet Sauvignon from Southern Ontario wineries.

While we're at it... Don't get drunk more than 8 times per year.

And finally, once you are drunk, there are probably 8 other means by which you can get home rather than attempting to drive yourself so... (No brainer alert!) Don't drink and drive!

Don't sleep any more or any less than 8 hours per day.

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Preferably, those 8 hours should come during one sleep during the overnight hours. Shift-workers should try their best to have a pitch-black, sound-proofed room to sleep in. Sleeps of less than 8 hours can be supplemented by one 1-hour nap in the afternoon.

People with loud motorcycles should dismount and walk their bikes through residential neighbourhoods. Good for the environment AND my ears!  ;o)

Don't smoke more than 8 cigarettes per day.

Preferably, don't smoke at all. If you must smoke, then do it but limit yourself to 8 per day and do not use substitutes such as:
  • patches,
  • drugs (of any sort),
  • gum (chewing or nicotene),
  • cigars,
  • pipes,
  • junk food, or
  • drugs (of any sort).

Did I mention "don't do drugs of any sort"?.

If you must smoke, don't smoke:

  • in your car,
  • in your house,
  • around children (anyone's),
  • anywhere it might be prohibited,
  • anywhere it might be convenient (this will help you limit your numbers).

One of my kids recently had to do a project on nicotene for school. Part of it was to come up with a cartoon. I quickly sketched this example just for fun...

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